How to Work an Introvert-Extrovert Marriage?
A marriage brings together two wonderful human beings, their interests, their stories, their passions, and above all, their distinct individual personalities. While it may seem like a trivial subject in the initial phase, it’s a definite topic to approach as you navigate through your marriage.
The dynamics of an introvert-extrovert marriage comes with its own share of pros and cons.
Though the traits of an introvert-extrovert partnership aren’t poles apart, they are certainly diverse. Eventually, this makes them complement each other in more ways than one can imagine. There will be a hermit for the hippie, there will be a listener to the communicator and a perceptive mind for the impulsive decision-maker.
Valuing Couple Time
The inherent personality traits make sure that you and your partner indulge in different activities. In turn, it makes you value the time spent together as a couple, doing things you both enjoy.
Your introvert partner may not communicate as well as you and the extrovert may feel overwhelmed at times. As soon as you identify these, you put your heads together to work on the balance that helps you rock your relationship.
The Not So Good
You may want to step out and shop for that couch while your partner may just want to stay home and order it online. Sounds insignificant? It probably is but if this conflict overshadows your daily routine, it can be quite a predicament.
Different Social Circles
While your mutual friends may overlap, there are chances that an introvert likes being in a small well-defined group and the extrovert enjoys every party in town. In a marriage, this could lead to arguments most evenings, if not communicated in an apt manner.
One may be overbearing and the other passive-aggressive, none of it being a fault in isolation. It stems from your personality type and may need constant awareness.
How to make it work?
Understand yourself and then each other
A major amount of your angst may be directed at your own self, each time the topic turns to compatibility. Refrain from doing that. You need to accept your persona before you go ahead and accept what your partner brings to the relationship. Focus on the fact that you chose each other. Identify what frustrates you and your partner and encourage what makes each of you happy, together.
Respect each other’s individuality
If you are an extrovert, do not assume that your partner’s small group of friends is pitiful. If you are an introvert, do not expect your partner to adjust to bare minimum communication.
Adapt and not adjust
The extrovert brings massive energy into a relationship while the introvert brings in the calm. Encourage each other, and help by being the stress buster. Adapt to each others’ strengths.
While you may be of different personality types, in this marriage you hold an equal partnership. Talk to each other, schedule your plans, make clear harmless boundaries and embrace the positives that this brilliant combination brings.
There’s a sweet spot in every relationship, you just need to explore and discover. Talk about it and then talk some more. Bringing in a non-confrontational expert into the picture may help too. Some of the niche programs designed by the relationship experts at The Little Things are for married couples. These programs include modules covering ways to understand each other’s personality types and learning communication techniques that tailor fit your partnership.